Chase

The biggest change I think has been Chase. He’s the oldest now (8.5 years), and he has space issues with dogs he doesn’t know. He will attack without warning when we go out and he’s too close to other dogs. He will still do this. He always hated having foster dogs in our house. So he’s the happiest one of them all that we no longer foster. He’s very relaxed at home now and, strangely enough, he’s becoming our mediator dog. Chase and Levi never got along. Levi would grump at Chase on a regular basis.

But now Chase loves to play with Jet (he did before, but he’s more relaxed about it now). Chase plays with Tatum too, and kinda tolerates Muffit. Muffit barks at Chase when he (Muffit) wants to play, which annoys Chase to no end. But after years, Chase is showing lip and teeth when he gets annoyed. We think that Chase’s warning system was punished out of him before we got him. So he’d just explode without warning. At home he gives warning now (he was giving warning before Levi died too). Chase hasn’t started a fight at home in probably over a year. It’s quite nice.

Jet has been having issues with being unable to stop when he starts fighting. I believe he learned it from Levi. Jet didn’t learn a good way to tell another dog that he’s been hurt or he wants something or needs another dog to stop something. I blame Levi, and myself, of course. Hopefully we’ll work this out. But anyway, a couple weeks ago Jet was going off on Chase, and Chase just stood there in the back yard with Jet latched onto his cheek. This is HUGE for Chase. Before, Chase would have fought back and not have stopped. But now, Chase is like our medium dog that has taken on the role of smoothing everything over. It’s really cool.

Anyone in a multi-dog household understands that dogs fight. It’s what they do. Our dogs have good bite inhibition and don’t break skin. But they sure sound mean. And they don’t fight without reason. People yell at each other, dogs growl and snarl and fight. And our house is kinda small, so the dogs are close together a lot. Maybe we need some wood pergolas to lighten things up, but we can’t afford anything now!

My husband and I aren’t sure who is highest ranking dog anymore. It’s probably Tatum, our only girl. But it could be Muffit, he doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap. It’s not Chase, he’s just the middle ground dog. And I don’t think it’s Jet either, even though he’s intact. Though we think Jet wants to be. It’s one of those flowing easy going packs that just get along. It’s quiet and nice. It’ll be interesting to see how a puppy throws them all for a loop again. Chase will probably have the hardest adjustment, he always does, but hopefully he’ll adjust quickly.

My Family

So when a dog does, a part of me dies. Even though at the same time a part of the dog lives on inside of me. Still, I feel empty and hollow and I don’t know how to deal with it. Since I don’t really have an after-life belief system, either, I’m not sure where they go, though I do have my ideas.

Anyway, where I’m going with this is that all my life I’ve really avoided getting close to people. I’ve had trust issues with people. Haven’t really trusted those who were trustworthy in the past, instead I’ve trusted those who were not trustworthy. Though I think that I’ve changed in that regard now, it’s still hard for me to get close to fellow humans. It’s always been easier for me to get close to dogs. And so the main support network I have in my life is that of my very short-lived dogs.

And so when they leave me, I’m pretty crushed. Though now I’m at a place in my life where I can finally trust people more, get close to people more, which is a good thing. And most of my life I’ve really denied the thought that I need people, and dogs, to rely on as close friends and family.

And I’m so worried about Levi. He’ll be 12 in just about a month. And sometimes I think that my entire world of sanity is balanced on his life. Which is way too much to ask any creature to endure, I know. Even though he gets extra attention now, which he really loves.

So I guess where I’m getting to with this is that today I had some sore of revelation. That it’s natural to love these creatures in our lives. And it’s so sad when they have to leave us. It’s just a natural part of life and it’s okay to love completely. I’ve avoided loving completely, because it means that when the object of your love is gone, then live is just about over and being crushed and miserable sets in. But it’s okay to have both, isn’t it? To love completely and still go on living. It’s natural and normal. Guess it took me a long time to realize this. But I have always loved my dogs completely, without reservation, unconditionally, just as they love me. They are so much easier than humans. So very much easier to love and live with.

I’ve been sick the last few days and feeling pretty rotten. I know it’s a combination of having too many losses, stress, catching some nasty cold, and also this underlying virus that I think I carry with me all the time. It all adds up, dangit. But today, or at least right now, I can look at our little graveyard of ashes in our cabinet that I have set up, and find a little bit more peace. At least for a while.

So I have to get back to the normal aspects of life. Missing those I’ve lost. Settling into a new life with the ones who are still alive. Maybe I’m a nut, I dunno. Maybe I just need a Steripen Adventurer Opti water filter to keep myself healthy… oh, and I joined Weight Watchers, to drop these awful pounds I’ve put on in the last couple of years. Still gotta take care of myself, eat healthy, and love completely the family I have with me still. And try to come to realize it’s okay to love completely, as well as lose completely. And still be okay.

Yeah, my husband and I would count dogs to make sure we had them all around. Home safe. Not getting out or running amok.

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I think I am coming to terms with losing Lucy. I’m still very sad, and last night cried again in bed before I went to sleep. I miss her so much. I wish that I could have put her in a bed, given her meds, and kept her around like I would have kept a person around. But dogs don’t work that way… and seriously, it’d be nice if we could put people out of their misery, too. Lucy was miserable. It was her time to go. I just still miss her so much.

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Today we took a trip to the desert to let the dogs run. It was a short trip. Long drive, about 45 minutes, and it was too hot to let the dogs run for too long. But they did have fun.   Levi isn’t very strong anymore and can’t go very far. I sure hope he’s okay when we go to camp.  I will take it slow for him, give him what he needs, and sit around on the beach of Lake Tahoe all day if we need too.  Which, really, won’t make me sad at all, sitting on the beach all day!

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I am trying out a new gallery, too, so above are the thumbnails. Though I’m not quite so sure how it works, yet, and I may just add the images individually too.

Three rounds of antibiotics later he got better and returned to his normal self that we remembered. Though he was less confident and more frantic than when we’d fostered him before. Poor guy, can’t blame him. Who knows what he went through. My husband and I didn’t even have to talk about it, we knew we were just going to keep him.

I thought of training him for flyball but he gets so frantic he has a hard time concentrating. So he ended up being my husband’s dog. And now my husband is his favorite person in the world. Aaron takes him hiking a lot in the summer. He takes him a fair amount in the winter too. On the days I’m home and Aaron isn’t, Muffit just seems kinda sad. He misses his favorite person. I don’t mind not being that person, I have enough other dogs to take care of. I wouldn’t be able to have six dogs without my husband. I wouldn’t be able to give them all enough attention. My husband is amazing, and I’m glad he’s developed a great relationship with Muffit. (Muffit is named after the mechanical dog on the original Battlestar Galactica show).

Muffit loves the snow too, I wish he, or one of the other dogs, could use a toro snowblower when Aaron and I are not home and we get dumped on! But alas, the dogs mostly sleep when they are alone. I bet they’d love a job, though.

Jet

First off I was figuring out a knitting patten. I like to knit, but this pattern was driving me nuts. It wasn’t straight forward or easy to follow, so I had to rewrite it so that I could understand it. And it took me about 20 rows (2 patterns worth) to be able to really figure it out consistently. Finally I have it down and it’s coming along. When I was complaining about it to my husband, he said, well isn’t that half the fun, figuring out the pattern? I said a stern NO!. I just wanted to do the knitting, I didn’t want to have to decipher a pattern.

At work I’m a programmer/Analyst. The Analyst part is tough for me. The programming isn’t so tough. Quite often I have to really analyze and understand how something works before I can just go ahead and program. My coworkers say… isn’t it fun to figure it out? I’m like… errr, No! I just want to do it!

And I related these same things to dogs. My friend has a Belgian Malinois puppy who will be a year old in February, and boy is she a handful. She’s one of those dogs you have to decipher and figure out before you can just train. Muffit is one of those kinds of dogs too, in my house. He’s so frantic, and he is not food motivated at all, that figuring him out would take a great deal of time and dedication, when really what I want to do is the knitting part… the training part!

So when I was looking for a breed, and found Jet, my Danish-Swedish Farmdog, what I was really looking for was a dog who came prepackaged as smart, sweet, calm, food motivated, toy motivated, and a love bug… and whom I could just train! Yay! That’s what I got! I got a dog I can just rain out of the box. Without all that preformatting part.

So I guess I don’t like the preparation as much as I like the doing. It’s also why I don’t want to shop around for cheap life insurance, or the best deal on clothes or food… I just want to do. Maybe it’s a sign of my lack of patience. I dunno… but I’m so glad I have Jet, who fits me so perfectly!

Play

It seems like in the dog sports world, most people find a breed and pretty much stick with it. And then there is me. LOL. When I had Tatum and Levi at the ASCA rally and were walking around with just them, I found it odd that I had only two dogs with me on leashes and they were both smooth collies!

I will admit, I am not as bonded to my two Border Collies as I am to the Smooth Collies and the Danish Swedish Farmdog. I don’t think I’ll be getting any more Border Collies.  They are fun, but just not really my breed.  Which may be odd to say since they are such a common agility breed.  In the future I plan on getting at least one more Danish Swedish Farmdog. Hopefully a girl.  And I’d also love another Smooth Collie. I have a name for a boy Smooth Collie, Quinn, I’d love to get a dog to match it someday!

So eventually I’ll probalby go down to two breeds. But I don’t think less than that.  I love the Collies and the Farmdogs!

Oh, and as I was making up new pictures for the pack… I thought I’d say that I always list them in the order in which they came to live with us.  For those we have now, Lucy came first, then Levi.  Then Angel, but she is gone now and I was very sad that I didn’t make a new picture for her.  Then Chase, then Tatum, Muffit, and finally Jet.  So it’s not in order of age, it’s in order of who came first.

The Family

It’s really not often I get a picture of all six of our dogs. While I was feeding Lucy this morning, most of the dogs were on the couch. So I put the rest up there and snapped a few pictures.

Lucy is in her chair about three times a day now. I really hate her megaesophagus.  I love her, and I want her happy and healthy.  And of course we do everything we can for her.  Our floors are kinda gross now, since she regurgitates still.  But we clean up after her and move on.  She’s a good girl and our special collie. 

The rest of the dogs are good.  Muffit goes hiking with my husband a lot. I don’t post about him much because I don’t do much with him.  Levi is retired, cranky, and jealous that he’s not my main companion anymore, but I train him some and go for walks and things and that makes him happy.  Tatum, Chase and Jet are my three main sport dogs now and they are fun to work with.

All in all, our happy house of six dogs is really peaceful. Everyone gets along and everything is going well. I miss Angel terribly, still.  The worst thing about coming back from trips is not having her here to welcome me home.

Everyone else is pretty happy and healthy though. But I don’t like it when the dogs get old.  I wish they were all young and healthy.

Muffit Hiking

Anyway so I brought my Mailbox back with me from Germany. I just had to have one… I got it back in 2002 and I don’t know if I even have a picture of it. I really should. Maybe I do somewhere.

I have it attached to the outside of the house. It’s a wall mount mailbox that kinda looks like the link just there. I love having fancy mailboxes on the house… Though, of course, what I’m really looking for is a dog type mail boxes. With a custom design of my dogs… of course. But I don’t think I can afford that anytime soon!

So anyway back to Muffit… he is so happy when he gets to go on hikes with the Dad. He even found a porcupine just the other day, managed to get away with only two quills, so that’s good. Goof. I’m glad he didn’t get hurt!