Foster Dogs over the Years

Collections For the last few days I’ve been loading up my dog pictures from my old album backups and into Flickr. Flickr is very convenient and easy to use, and it helps me not use up lots of my server space.

We have helped a lot of dogs. I am proud of what we have done. Some of these dogs are no longer alive, but hopefully we were able to touch their lives and make them better in some way.

We have to take a break from rescue for a while, with Lucy’s cancer and her health a concern, my husband not having a job right now, an us just being overwhelmed. So no more foster dogs. I will try to coordinate collie rescue when I can, but that is hard without any foster homes. *sigh*

Click on the image to see all the sets of our foster dogs. I know one is not there… Alice, she was cute and I can’t find any pictures of her. Bummer.

All these dogs with the exception of Bria are from 2000 and later. Bria was at my old house pre 2000.

How is the Lucy Girl

So we went into the vet today to pick up Lucy. She had an ultrasound to see if they could find a cancer tumor, from where the cancer in her lungs may have originated. Still there is a 15% chance it’s not cancer, it could be something else.

They didn’t find a tumor. All her organs are fine.. her heart, spleen, liver, kidneys… so if it’s cancer, the tumor is too small to find. I saw the xrays, too, and they are very spotty. My husband’s mother died of Melanoma. And he thought Lucy’s xrays looked like his Mother’s xrays when they diagnosed her 15 years ago. She died within 4 months of diagnosis.

Anyway, the vet said that there’s not much we can do at this point. However, I’m going to take her xrays up to a local holistic vet, Kim Hennemen, and see what she has to say about Lucy. It can’t hurt, and I actually prefer holistic doctors, for humans and dogs, to traditional doctors. Unfortunately my husband prefers traditional doctors. So hopefully we can find some middle ground about treating her.

ASCA Agility

Well we did some ASCA agility yesterday. I just entered the one day. I’m glad I did. Chase was so tired last night when we got home that he was showing his teeth to everyone, even Lucy and Levi and he doesn’t do that often at all.

Both Levi and Chase did great. Levi got a couple Qs, Chase didn’t get any but I did want to practice with him. And it’s so much fun to run him now. We have come a long way, and we still have a way to go but I’m learning. I’m especially learning lateral distance. Sometimes I think I can be further away from him than I can be. He missed a tunnel entry because of that yesterday. I thought he’d hit the tunnel he’s such a tunnel suck. But nope.. he check in with me instead, which was good!

Levi did awesome, too. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind because of Lucy’s most likely Cancer, but I was happy with the boys. I brought Tatum too, and she’s doing so well there. She goes up to everyone now looking for Livers, which she gets thanks to her Mum. 🙂 Afterwards we were in the parking lot and I dropped her flexi… suffice it to say, we have to practice her dragging the flexi. Because the Mum can be a dork sometimes and drop them. She was pretty frightened of it dragging behind her.

Today is a rest day, which I need. Muffit is sitting beside me sleeping. He is such a snuggler. He is still snuffling, we might take him back to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday for a checkup.

Dealing with the Emotions of Pending Death

I don’t believe in the rainbow bridge. I hope that Kip is out there, somewhere, doing something a heck of a lot more interesting than waiting for me by some bridge. Maybe he’s dancing on the stars, or he’s existing in some alternate reality where he gets to be some other type of entity, something I cannot even imagine. I like to think maybe he looks in on me once in a while… hopefully with fond memories.

My husband and I are going to take Lucy in to the vet next Tuesday and get her an ultrasound. They will put her under and examine her whole body. They didn’t see a tumor in the xrays they took, just spots on her lungs. Lots of them. Even my husband could tell. Of course there is a small chance that it’s just some sort of lung infection… but the vet is pretty sure it’s cancer. Hopefully we’ll get an idea of what the progress of the cancer will be, and how long she will have to live. Gads, what an awful thought.

And so, I am trying to prepare myself. I don’t know how to feel happy about other things in life, while being devastated about Lucy’s cancer. I have tried to appreciate every day I have with all the dogs, because I know too well how short the years are. I have never had anyone close to me die, with the exception of Kip. And I was in a bad place when he went so I didn’t even see his signs of age.

With Lucy, I am in a good place in life which, I hope, will help me to cope with this. I am happy to still have her here. I am thrilled that I got to spend the time with her that I have.. and am. I am happy about the other dogs, my relationship with my husband, my job and my friends… so it’s a parfait of emotions that I’m going to have to learn how to live with.

Not something I ever wanted to experience, but knew, eventually, I would have to.

Death Lasts so much Longer than Life

A few days ago my husband and I noticed that Lucy’s legs were swollen. She was acting fine otherwise.. energy level was okay,

My husband took her to the vet… they were puzzled. She was pooping okay, eating fine, drinking fine… energy level was fine. Have I told you, I have always always had a bad feeling about Lucy’s health? Ever since she started limping, and that was three years ago now or so.

Anyway.. she went in for some xrays today, and they found many masses in her lungs. Lots of them. They are 85% to 90% sure it’s cancer.

They are going to do more tests on Tuesday.

Lucy will be 9 years old on February 15, 2008. She is too young. She is so very young. She is my baby girl and I’m just sitting here with tears streaming down my face.

Death Lasts so much Longer than Life… I read that in a book once, and it’s so true. It’s much too true. I love my baby Lucy girl. My Lulu, my boo.