His Broken Little Body

I had a horrible experience today. Obedience lessons with Chase were awesome this morning and my trainer came up with some great things we are going to do with his heeling, his stand for exam (he gets too wiggly he loves people so much), an his go outs.

I also got my nails done, sparkled green and red for Christmas. I like them much. Then I came home and had lunch, then I planned to get the car washed, get a photo taken for a passport picture, then I was going to do some short Christmas shopping.

So I go and get the car washed and it’s nice and clean. Well, as clean as it gets hauling dogs around in it so often. I leave the car wash and I’m driving to get the passport picture and I see this little Italian Greyhound running through the streets and in a Firestone parking lot close to my house. I’m stopped at a red light and saying crap to myself, I have to help this little guy. He was big for an Iggy but too small to be a whippet. He had a collar and tags. So when the light turns green I turn the corner and park, hastily, in the Firestone parking lot.

There was another girl trying to catch him and he was scared so he ran out, of course, into traffic. A lady in a white car didn’t see him and hit him with the right front of her car. This was the lane not closest to the parking lot, so I run out in front of a car in that first lane, and I stand there frozen as I watched this poor little boy get hit by a car.

At this point, if you don’t want to read more, skip to the end, because I need to get this off my chest and it’s pretty graphic.

Graphic Bad Stuff Follows:

It was awful. She hit him with her front, and then he tumbled and crumpled and then her back tire went over his neck. His eye popped out, he was broken and bleeding, and his body just shuddered like a leaf as I stood there. It was like a movie. It was unreal. I usually look away from things like this but my neck wouldn’t turn and my eyes wouldn’t close. I just stood there as he shook and shuddered.

Finally my brain kicked back into gear when he stopped shaking and I pulled off my sweatshirt and laid it over him. The lady who hit him stopped and got out of her car, crying. The other girl was also pretty upset. But I went into take charge mode, my emotions were stuffed someplace in the back of my spine, and I picked him up, supporting his head, and carried him to my car. The lady who hit him, I told her to go on there was nothing she could do. The girl followed me and opened the back of my Outback. I laid him inside and went to Brickyard Animal Hospital, the closest vet to me and only a couple of minutes away. But already I knew it was too late for him. I thought he was dead. It was too bad of a hit.

I pulled in front of the vet, ran in, and said I have a dog in my car that’d been hit. They were super nice, one of the vet techs came to the car and grabbed him up. She saw a pulse in his neck.. you could see it, because it was pretty exposed. One of his back legs flopped around and you could see the bone, most of the skin was ripped off.

She took him in the back quickly. Another girl directed me to the bathroom and I washed up, I had blood all down my left arm, splattered on my jeans and shirt. I washed my skin off as best I could.

End Graphic Bad Stuff

They came into the bathroom and asked me if they couldn’t find his people, if I wanted to try to save him. I said only if he has a chance (which I doubted) and if he would be in too much pain then put him down. Well only a couple of minutes later they said he was dead.

He had a microchip tag on, and a tag from a rescue group. The vet took down my name and said they would let me know if they could find his people.

One of the girls came out to my car and cleaned up the blood. I have a rubber mat in the back and she scrubbed it pretty good, but I think there is still blood in the cracks. I’ll pull it out in the next few days and scrub it good.

So with blood on me and being emotional plastered, I just went home. I sat in the driveway, in my car, for about 15 minutes and just cried. When I dropped him at the vet I was shaking like a leaf, but I can kick into that gear where I need to get things done, and I do it. After… that’s when I fall apart. And thank the gods for Zoloft, because I’d still be a wreck if I didn’t have it to dull my emotions. However, I feel weird, like I should feel more, but sometimes it’s good not to feel more, and I’m glad I have it as a crutch. Though, of course, I was still emotionally stunned and bewildered and miserable. It was enough emotion, I think.

When I finally came inside I threw my clothes in the wash and hugged my husband for another 15 minutes. Then I put on my robe, sat down in front of the TV and cried some more. Levi licked my tears, he is such a good boy. Then I watched the second 2/3s of Alive. I figured I needed a show where the characters had it worse than me. And that actually did help.

Then my husband and I went to a movie, but it wasn’t really enough to distract me. And now I’m talking about it, because I have to get it out of me to help me deal with it.

The vet called back, they told me they found his people. His name was Gratzy and he was a 10 year old Italian Greyhound. He had been adopted only a year earlier.

Why he was out, I don’t know. I know it can happen to anyone, but it really pissed me off. He didn’t even have a name tag on, just his tags from a year ago from the rescue. If anything like that ever happened to any of my rescue collies, I would be blank with anger and rage.

So to those who read this, please send a little white light to Gratzy’s spirit. Let him know he was loved, and he is free now. I feel rather bad that I wasn’t more emotionally comforting to him in his last moments on this Earth. I was businesslike and had to get things done. But now, when I can look back, I can almost feel his spirit near me, and I hope he is thanking me for trying to help him. Maybe I’m wacko thinking that, but it helps me to feel better, and it really feels true.

Now I better go see what the Terror Tot is getting into upstairs. I so love my dogs. I am so glad they are safe.

Tatum is Tired

Tatum is dead tired today, but in a good way, and she hasn’t launched herself at anyone yet! She is sleeping next to me on the couch pushing at me with her feet.

She came with this morning to the park, and I brought Levi too because he doesn’t seem to get out very much recently. We chatted with a friend then we walked by the skate park area. There were a couple of little kids and their parents on skateboards going up and down. Tatum was afraid of them, so we just stayed for a little while. I wanted to get her out and experience different things.

She is getting so much better, though, and I’ve gotten a number of compliments on wonderfully she is doing now in public, and how much more relaxed she seems. I think I’m going to start taking her out more on her own, it’s just about that time and I think she’s ready for it.

Also, Jezzi came to flyball today too! She was our foster from a few months ago. She is such a great girl.

So far we don’t need any assisted living software for us or our dogs, but maybe someday we will. 🙂

Jogging Again

I’ve started jogging again, and taking Chase and Levi with. Chase loves jogging. We don’t go even close to far enough for him. I might take them to the park today… Sugarhouse Park, to see how that goes. We need a change of scenery and it’s only about 5 minutes from our house.

Well, I need a change of scenery. The dogs just like to sniff everything, and pee on everything.

Eventually I’ll start swapping out Tatum and Levi to go jogging. Tatum has much more energy than Levi. But Levi needs the exercise to keep his fitness and endurance up. He’ll be 8 next month, so in the next couple of years he might slow down to the point where jogging for 4 or so miles will be too much for him. Tatum, however, is young and I’m not sure that her growth plates are even completely closed, so she won’t be going for a little bit.

Admitting….

Okay, I’m slowly admitting to myself that we are going to keep Tatum the Tater Tot Terror. I took her, Wednesday evening, to an informal training some of the girls have in a local park. I want her to get used to different situations. She will, in time. It will take time. I want her to know that everything is safe, and I don’t want to push her too hard. But I want to push her a little bit. So finding the balance is key.

And she recovers really well after our excursions outside. Wednesday she was cautious for about 45 mins. She let people pet her fine, though she doesn’t really respond to people (the only thing that is not ideal about her). She responds to dogs better. But that’s okay, we will build our relationship as slowly as she likes. She loves dogs, and after 45 minutes she was letting go… and then started playing with Daniel, a cattledog friend of our. So I put her on the 30 foot long line and let her go and romp and do her bunny rabbit dance.

So she really settled in, which was great. I guess the professional trainers would not let her have much dog contact, they would recommend I leash her to me and spend lots of time bonding with me. But I couldn’t do that. I’ll let it come in it’s own time.

This evening I get a break, everyone is chewing bully sticks and they are being nicely quiet. I’m watching my Friday evening TV shows… Gonna go watch Flash Gordon.

Slow Day

It’s the slow time of the week. We do all of our training on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.. and sometimes Wednesday. That is four days! It’s too much, really, for a little ol’ human. Not enough for the boys, though. Wednesdays I go to the park with some friends and usually bring the boys, but today I brought Sonny so he could get out and walk around. He did great, he loves other people and dogs. He’s never shown teeth or growled at any other dog. Just like to sniff and sometimes play.

I have to have self-enforced down days, too. And people do have to respect that. This week it’s Saturday. I’m not leaving the house on Saturday. If I don’t force myself to have down days my battery will run out and I’ll over stress!

Now all the pups are happily sleeping on the floor, except Levi who is on the couch. The day is over, it’s just about time for bed.